To Shiny No. 7 Random Thoughts
I was charged with agitation all week long last week. Torturous though the feeling was, it was probably helpful to stimulation of some sort, as witnessed by the writings to Shiny. I suppose it’s a by-product of the maddening emotion looking for a way out. Then strangely, once your short note arrived on Monday, the anxiety was gone. I remember I’ve watched this sudden transformation of my emotional makeup with amusement, couldn’t help but marvel at the intriguing composition of the human psychology. But it turned out the relative peace was short-lived. Less than twenty-four hours later, I was back to the emotional hot pan, grilled and fried.
Two weeks ago one night I went downstairs to the park to have my regular exercise. Shortly after I was there, rain began to fall, first in drizzles, soon after it came down in torrents. I was pinned down on a sheltered chair there. Sitting in the dark, looking out to the sea, I could see clearly the dazzling lights of the housing estate from across the Rambler Channel. Further out, the line of red light on the Ting Kau Bridge was still quite visible. But as the rain began to become heavy, the views began to become blurred. The first to go was the red light on the Ting Kau Bridge, as it was further away. Shortly later, the beaming lights from Villa Esplanada and Tierra Verde were replaced by a heavy sheet of darkish grey. I was engulfed by a canopy of loud, heavy deluge. The sheltered chair on which I placed myself was helpless in the force of nature. I was drenched to the skin.
I didn’t move though. There’s no difference by then whether I chose to walk or run or continue sitting there. I chose to continue sitting there, letting my thoughts soaked and rinsed as well.
I had stopped working on my website since April 2009. On that wettish night, I decided to resume with the project. I would begin to write up a letter and then would begin to contact investors. I decided also to begin writing my novel. At the time, I thought I would write it still in Chinese. Now you know, I’ve decided to write it in English. And as our college is in the process of being accredited to becoming a university, pressure of publication for us teachers has begun to mount. At this stage, it is beyond my ability to write research papers that are worth anything academically. I’ve decided instead to write a text book on English grammar. This I’ve got a head start as I have my notes for the classes. I'm one who has the habit of preparing his own notes. These notes now are handy as they would serve as the material for the pending text book.